TPNG
Whilst in 19 Topo Sqn in 1970 I
had the pleasure of two firsts . One was the Troop was
transported from RAF Lyneham to Brisbane , Australia , by
RAF Hercules on the first non - stop flight between the old
and new countries ever by RAF transport aircraft .The Troop
Captained by Mike Nolan, also included Mick Guise (SSGT),
John Campbell( SGT) Roger Witherington and yours truly a CPL
later to be promoted to Sgt in TPNG(Territory of Papua New
Guinea) John Campbell was the official cine-photographer
(where is the film now?) and took shots mainly of aircraft
taking off and landing with the occasional bit of local
colour thrown in .
The second "first" was meeting
your arch typical OZZIE in a place called WOITAPE on my way
to the top of Trig NMJ4 where along with Alan Thompson (The
Aussie half of the observing team, we were to engage in
Aerodist and provide control for the mapping of TPNG.
I flew out of KOKODA in a
Swiss Porter flown by that other Australian legend SMOKEY
DAWSON , Bush Pilot supreme , bound for Woitape which like
most places in TPNG nestled deep in a narrow ,cloud filled
valley .Smokey Dawson literally flew by the seat of his
pants through the cloud whilst engaged in small talk about
the dangers of flying in TPNG and relating the very high
accident figures of light aircraft in this God forbidden
place .Suitably encouraged I scoured through the cockpit
window looking for any gaps in the cloud that might prove
useful in an emergency when Smokey said, "we should be there
by now keep your eyes open for an airstrip !".
With everything crossed I
peered through the gloom with accelerated eagerness looking
for Terra Firma, when suddenly the porter went into an
accelerated nose dive and I was punched back into the seat
at God knows how many "G,s" and vaguely remember Smokies
childish scream of delight "There she is mate right below us
!"
I could not lean forward or open
my eyes due the suddenness of the manoeuvre. Breathing was
also temporarily suspended until we levelled out some 3000
feet below our original altitude .From then on it was a
cinch as we cruised round the valley , landed and taxied to
a halt some 60 metres from a colonial type like wooden
house with a rather peculiar looking structure some 50 m
further away .
Suddenly out of the blue out
comes running a white guy closely followed by a dozen or so
natives heading straight for us .It took a while trying to
figure out their dress code. They were dressed in Sarongs
of Bright Orange with Big Black Broad Arrows (Govt
Property) all over them .The white guy was shouting at them
in some Gobblygook I had never heard before and within
seconds all the equipment aboard the aircraft was unloaded
as were we .
Taking a Deep Breath I stuck
out my hand and announced to the whole of Woitape my number,
name and rank and at that moment met RICK NYLAND , who was
the local KIAP.In old English he was a District Officer ,
Judge and Jury and Prison Commissioner rolled into one ,
hence the native volunteers .(Kiap was rank held by Errol
Flynn during his sojourn in TPNG in the 1920's?)
In his delight of meeting
another white man Rick forgot to let go of my hand for some
considerable time until I developed a very froggy throat and
after several seconds of pneumonic type coughing he took the
hint ,let go and uttered those immortal Australian words
"Anybody for a beer mate?" Declining his offer I explained
to him that a chopper was due in with Alan to lift us on to
NMJ4 that very morning His disappointment was palpable but
he recovered well and we exchanged pleasantries for a couple
of minutes whilst Smokey Dawson radioed our successful
landing to the outside world .Returning to the company Smoky
grinning from ear to ear announced that the choppers were on
an SAR (Search and Rescue) looking for some missionary pilot
who had gone missing and could only complete the lift the
next day.
Rick's immediate reaction was
to grab me by the hand and drag me mumbling towards his
house whilst at the same time issuing forth in Gobblygook at
the natives who began hauling my equipment in the same
direction .Smokey strode on behind humming under his breath
something that bore a very close resemblance to Waltzing
Matilda.
Rick's house was very large and
as we walked into the lounge come dining room I was struck
by a wall covered from roof to ceiling with all types of
books . The other 3 walls were shelved from floor to ceiling
with beer and spirit bottles of every kind .It was a sort of
Aussie Eden .We sat and enjoyed the last of Rick's beer and
bade farewell to Smokey who disappeared into the cloud as
quickly as he had dived through it .
Rick and I sat down and ate
some "Tucker" and then the bad news ! Rick had run out of
beer but he still had his good old back up. He grabbed a
green bottle and poured forth a full beer glass of this
strange liquid passed it to me, shouted "Cheers Mate !" and
downed his with world record speed whilst I stunned sipped
at the green stuff and came to the conclusion that it was
Crème De Menthe and almost vomited .It was only after a few
well aimed insults at "The Bloody Pommies!" that I
reluctantly followed suit and downed mine .We repeated the
exercise several more times during that day whilst Rick
explained his duties and how he was looking forward to his
first holiday in 3 years the following year and how he would
look me up in "The Old Country "
Staggering to bed early so as
to be ready for the chopper next morning I felt "BLOODY
CROOK MATE!" and slept in a Crème de Menthe heaven until
dawn .
On waking I rushed to the heads
only to discover my urine had mysteriously changed colour
and resembled a gangrene infection bleeding profusely.
Grabbing a glass of water to
slake my thirst I soon found that the taste of Crème de
Menthe stays with you for a long time .Try as much as I did
That taste would not go away and accompanied me for most of
my stay on NMJ4.
On arrival of the chopper I
proceeded to say a fond farewell to Rick and only vomited
when I left the chopper after jumping out on the lower
slopes of NMJ4 which was clagged in .Climbing NMJ4 in a
Crème de Menthe haze I cursed Rick Nyland every step of the
way comforted only by the thought that I would never see
that bloody Aussie again.
After returning to UK min Dec
1970 I went about the usual 19 Sqn activities and had the
privilege of going home to the family for a few months .One
June evening in 1971 whilst watching TV there was a knock on
the front door which my ex went to answer. She called me to
the door where standing in all his glory was Rick Nyland . I
will never forget those immortal words uttered by Rick ,"
Howzit mate just dropped in for a beer !" Suddenly I was
overcome with a very strong taste of Crème de Menthe and a
sense of panic and foreboding "THE OZZIE HAD LANDED !!!!
Normmmmmmm
PS .its true after showing Rick
around a few pubs in Andover and a trip to Stonehenge he
returned to New Guinea . Every time I think of Rick Nyland I
can Taste Crème de Menthe !
Story courtesy of Norman Brindle
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